A time of profound change

The perinatal period runs from pregnancy to the first months, or even the first year, of a baby’s life. It transforms everything at once: the body, sleep, identity, the couple, one’s place in one’s own family, the relationship with work. It is often expected to be a time of happiness, and it can be. But it also frequently brings doubts, worries, exhaustion or sadness, which many parents do not dare express for fear of being judged.

These difficulties are common and say nothing about your ability to be a good parent. Addressing them early prevents them from taking hold, and helps you live this period more calmly.

During pregnancy

Pregnancy can stir up unexpected emotions and questions:

  • anxiety about the baby’s health, tests or the birth;
  • an intense fear of childbirth, sometimes linked to a previous experience;
  • mood swings, unusual sadness or irritability;
  • questions about your future role as a mother or father, and about your own family history;
  • tension in the couple, or a sense of isolation, especially far from your family or your country.

A pregnancy achieved after a long fertility treatment journey, a pregnancy after a loss, or a medically complicated pregnancy can also be lived with particular vigilance and anxiety. Having a space to talk makes it possible to set these worries down and prepare.

After the birth: baby blues or postnatal depression?

The baby blues

In the days following birth, most mothers go through a period of heightened emotional sensitivity: tears that come easily, irritability, feeling overwhelmed. These “baby blues” are linked to hormonal upheaval, fatigue and the intensity of the event. They are temporary and usually fade within two weeks.

Postnatal depression

Postnatal (or postpartum) depression is different: it lasts, intensifies or appears later, sometimes several months after the birth. In France, it affects nearly one mother in six two months after giving birth, according to the 2021 National Perinatal Survey. Fathers and co-parents can be affected too. Its signs:

  • sadness, emptiness or frequent crying that persist beyond the first weeks;
  • exhaustion that cannot be explained by lack of sleep alone;
  • significant anxiety, invasive worries about the baby;
  • feeling like a bad mother, guilt, shame;
  • difficulty feeling attachment or pleasure with your child;
  • withdrawal, loss of interest, irritability.

Postnatal depression can be treated. The sooner it is recognised, the easier it is to recover. Do not hesitate to talk to your midwife, your doctor or the PMI (the French public maternal and child health service), and to see a psychologist. If you have thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, or unusual confusion, seek help immediately: in France, call 15 or 3114, or go to A&E; elsewhere, contact your local emergency services.

Other perinatal situations

  • A difficult or traumatic birth. A birth experienced in fear, pain or with a sense of losing control can leave intrusive memories, nightmares or strong apprehension about a future pregnancy. These reactions sometimes relate to psychological trauma and can be worked through.
  • Pregnancy loss or perinatal bereavement. Miscarriage, termination of pregnancy, the death of a baby: these losses are often poorly acknowledged by those around you. They deserve space to be fully grieved.
  • Fertility treatment. Hopes, setbacks and successive treatments put morale and the couple under great strain.
  • Becoming a parent far from home. For expatriate parents or those with a migration background, the absence of family and the gap between different cultures’ birth traditions can heighten isolation. I work in English, French and Portuguese.

How I can help

My support is adapted to each stage and each situation. It may be a few supportive sessions during pregnancy, more regular support in the months after the birth, or deeper work on what parenthood stirs up in your own history.

I draw on an integrative approach (find out more): practical tools to ease anxiety and get through difficult moments, attention to personal history, and a systemic approach that takes the couple and the family into account. Sessions can be individual, as a couple or as a family, depending on what you are looking for, and in liaison with the other professionals who follow you (midwife, doctor, PMI) if you wish.

Sessions last about 50 minutes, at the Brotteaux practice, 134 rue de Sèze in Lyon 6th, or by video, a valuable option late in pregnancy or in the first weeks with a newborn. Fees are listed on the home page. For questions about parenting and family life, see also parenting support.

Frequently asked questions

Is it normal not to feel love for your baby straight away?

Yes, it is more common than people think. The bond with a child often develops gradually, through care and interaction. If this feeling persists or comes with sadness or guilt, it is worth talking about: it can also be a sign of postnatal depression.

Can fathers seek help too?

Of course. Fathers and co-parents also go through profound changes, and can be affected by anxiety or depression after a birth. I see them on their own or with their partner.

When during pregnancy should I seek help?

At any time. There is no need to wait until difficulties are significant: seeking help early helps prevent anxiety or depression from setting in, and lets you prepare for your baby’s arrival more calmly.

Useful resources